Over Analyze This (draft)

Posted by hobsonschoice1 on March 24, 2011 – 3:40 pm

We are sitting in the war room of Any NFL Team in Anywhere USA with the draft a month away.

The GM is over here. The head coach is over there. The director of player personnel is by the board. The offensive coordinator is next to the head coach. The regional scout is on the other side of the board. And the position coach is on his way in from the airport coming back from a Pro Day.

The mesaurables have been digested. The game tape has been graded. The interviews have been conducted. The receipts for the combine and pro days have been handed in.

Now is the time for the study, the debate, the second-guessing, and the second looks. Is it paralysis by analysis? Indecision overload? Complication by compilation? When is enough information too much information? This is the time of the year when the locks of February become the gambles of April without playing a snap.

Let’s go into The War Room of Any Team and find out as they debate the kid out of Nazareth who came into the draft heralded as the Savior for some lucky team:

“We’ve got him. No brainer. The unquestioned first pick in the draft. An immortal lock.”

“What can’t he do? Brings them back from the dead. Makes the blind see. Feeds the hungry from the sky.  Wonderful family. His mother is a legend all around the world. And not only that, he’s great in the community. His nickname in Jerusalem is “The Prince of Peace.”

“Hold on, we’re going to have to check out some things that have been rumbling around Herod’s forums and the Pharisees’ web sites.”

“What are you talking about? The guy’s got it all. A miracle worker on the field, a great presence as a locker-room leader, a mentor to the practice squad and IR guys alike. You’re talking about the face of your franchise for not only the next decade, but for eternity.

“But we’ve got to research some anger management issues. Apparently he had a violent episode in the temple and the scribes gave him some bad ink.”

“And we’re looking into potential violations of the alcohol policy. Something about turning water into wine.”

 “There’s also some confusion about his upbringing. No one seems to have a record of the first 30 years of his life. And the NCAA is looking into gifts the Three Kings gave him the night he was born.”

“Plus, we also hear he’s got an entourage of at least 12 that goes with him everywhere. There are whispers about another colleague, a Mary Magdalene. And there could be work ethic problems. He supposedly once wandered in the desert for 40 days.”

“Wow, the scribes will bury us in Rome if we draft him at all, never mind No. 1 overall.”

“Don’t you think we might be overanalyzing this just a little bit? The tape doesn’t lie. Go back and look at the Sea of Galilee cutups. I mean, the guy walks on water. Look at the reception at the Palm Sunday crowd.”

“Do you think we can get him as a free agent?

“Sure, why not?  Nobody will remember this draft in two weeks.”

“OK. But I don’t know about that. Suppose next year we make you write the Gospel on how we talked ourselves out of drafting the Almighty?”

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